It is of course an absolute niche profession and not a well-known profession a lá 'I'm going to be a lawyer'. Without the "brittle" sexual biography, so to speak, one does not necessarily think that this could exist. There were also several books that totally inspired me. Maternidades Subversivas by Maria Llopis, for example, opened up completely new perspectives for me on how sexuality and parenthood can be thought of and lived outside of the heteronormative nuclear family bubble. As a result of this process, I wanted to become a sex educator and when I was looking for various training courses I finally ended up at SexBod because it makes total sense to me to think about the body, especially when it comes to sexuality. In my university bubble, we talked a lot about decolonial approaches to knowledge, but we just talked and never thought about what social inequality actually does to our bodies on the actual somatic level.

That I can queer my sexuality even though I had a child in a hetero relationship. And that I allow myself to have a sexuality at all. In the social discourse there is not much leeway between the mother as an asexual, virgin icon or as a porn category, in front of a house and garden backdrop, with a standardized body and in general Muddi has to be beautiful and successful at the same time, care work is and remains invisible elf work. I suffered a lot from all these norms and requirements and constantly tried to do justice to everything.

Contrast experiences are a constant part of our somatic experience - activation and regulation. There are so many wounds, being a parent brings out your nastiest parts of you, but also the most beautiful ones. I was orphaned in my early 20s and had my parents in the same year and thus also got older - in the sense of aging in "fast forward" - death and birth, two such formative, life-changing experiences so close together, all the scars, all the vitality . I still wanted to continue to meet all the social requirements - wage and care work, political activism under one roof, by the way, 2 majors, don't forget to pimp the CV, multi-management of a single-parent flat share, by the way still outing. .. Looking back, I would say that I didn't really keep up. My body had to process it all first. Then I burned out (and I'm still burning out) and decided to do the training as an act of self-care, so to speak.