Touch Scars - Scars can be scary and wo(u)nderful
"Like all of us, I carry life's injuries with it,
that it has caused me
I look for the soft spots in the scars
in which I can nestle and rest.
If I cry, it's not because you ask me how I'm doing.
The opposite is the case:
I cry because it hurts that the soft places
where we can talk about our pain,
are too small for sufficient questions, listening and understanding,
for sadness, anger and solidarity at the same time."
Alisa Tretau - "Not only mothers were pregnant"
Scar re-sensitization
with castor oil
Most people have scars on sexuality-related parts of the body in particular - whether mental or physical.
I don't treat scars, but I would like to invite a space for them to be seen and felt.
Castor oil can help re-sensitize the scarred tissue as it penetrates deeply into tissue structures and can soften them. (I therefore only use it on scars that are more than 6-8 weeks old after a (surgical) wound). Deafness or particularly strong sensitivity can be compensated for in this way.
I work here using the methods of Ellen Heed, an American Sexological Bodyworker and trauma therapist.
"There are whole blackouts
in some of the years I have lived
my therapist says our minds erase trauma
to help us move on
but every experience I*ve had
is memorised in my flesh
even if my mind forgets
my body remembers
my body is the map of my life
my body wears what it*s been through
my body signals the alarms when
it thnks danger is coming
and suddenly
the hungry little demons from my past
come raging out of my flesh
screaming
don*t forget us
don*t you ever try to
leave us behind again."
(Rupee Kaur)
Transgenerational trauma tracks
We have ALL trauma parts within us.
Because the body stores (somatic) memories - especially the traumatic ones - for 6 generations.
So it is not surprising that so many people in post-war countries suffer from depression or post-traumatic stress disorder.
Regardless of whether you have had traumatic experiences yourself, it is relevant when working with bodies and touching them to become aware of the possibility that strong emotions, sensations, images or memories can arise - sometimes very suddenly.
"Trust in the process of pain" - where do you hold on and where can you let go?
Trauma-informed work
I don't treat trauma, but I work in a trauma-sensitive way.
That is, I have studied the Polyvagal Theory and childhood developmental trauma.
For me, working trauma-informed means not only dealing with it theoretically, but also doing research on myself and knowing how the trauma responses of our autonomic nervous system also affect me. For example, I was recently able to learn that in addition to the three known answers, there is a fourth survival or stress reaction that is largely unexplored in German-speaking countries and is particularly relevant in connection with sexualized encounters:
- Fight - fightFlight - fleeFreeze - freezeFawn - obliging submission
I am currently doing further training to be able to recognize when these mechanisms "kick in" and to be able to accompany you carefully in arriving again.